


like real people do

by cloudedhues



Category: Psycho-Pass
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, F/M, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-10-20 22:41:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10672257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudedhues/pseuds/cloudedhues
Summary: There's a sort of courage in seeking happiness in a world that insists on hiding it.Alternatively: Akane tries going on a date with one of her compatibility matches and ends up getting hamburgers with Kougami instead. Because of course.





	like real people do

**Author's Note:**

> this was my fic contribution to the zine i collab'ed on with other lovely shinkane creators. i've only realized that i never posted it here so welp here you go!

 

She had just wanted a quiet, normal night.

Akane rarely asked for much.

But this was bullshit.

It had already been one thing when Kagari eavesdropped on her argument with her parents to take her compatibility matches more seriously. Another thing when he and Karanomori had cornered her and attempted to relay some romantic advice. And another when she had started off the night by spilling water into her date's lap when she leaned over the table to shake his hand.

But of course even the city's lowest wouldn’t be deterred to go out of their way either to ensure that this night would end in the worst possible scenario for her.

 _This is what happens when you try to have fun_ , she muttered in her head.

The stone of the wall pressed against the planes of her shoulder blades uncomfortably, her torn dress riding up as she crouched on the balls of her feet. Beside her, her date was trying to hide his shaking, fist crumpling the ripped piece of her dress against his wound to staunch it.

 _Please don’t die_ , she pleaded.

“Still with me, Hiro-kun?” she lightened her voice, the calm easier when she was trying to do it for someone else. The man laughed, his regret instant in his little wince of pain.

“Only if you are,” he muttered. “I’m sorry we had to rip your dress.”

“A small sacrifice."

Her smile was unbidden, even as she pressed her ear against the wall to ensure that the arsonists that lingered had moved on. He opened his mouth to quip something in return but she shushed him with a lift of her hand. Her eyes widened when she heard the sound of footsteps coming nearer.

Whoever they were, they were fast.

Any second, they’d find their hiding spot if Akane didn’t do something. Half-convinced by adrenaline, her hands found the switchblade knife she kept in the garter holster around her left thigh and waited, breath caught behind her lips as she bit at the soft part there. She waited – waited until the last possible second until in the span of a silent instant, she whipped her body up and around, muscles positioning automatically in the way Kougami had taught her. The knife found itself snug at the base of the intruder’s throat as she pushed them against the wall and Akane held her breath, adrenaline causing her to bare her teeth furiously at them.

It was dark to see much of anything, amplifying even the smallest of noises. The intruder coughed out something that sounded like a surprised breath of laughter, those eyes still familiar even under the feeble light as they looked down at her in muted amusement.

Akane blinked.

“Kougami-san?”

He regarded her in silence for a complete second before his gaze flicked downwards then back to her face. His voice was wry when he spoke. “I’d ask where you managed to keep a knife under that dress but I don’t think I’m in the best position to be asking such things.”

She gasped a little in surprise when she realized she still had him at his throat. “Oh! Sorry.”

She released him like a hot poker, leaping back in embarrassment. She bent down, absurdly self-conscious under his watch as she hurriedly rode up the edge of her dress to return the knife. Finding her arms useless, she crossed them on her chest as if to cover herself.

“What are you doing here?” she blurted. Stupid question. Of course he’d be here at the scene of the crime.

“I’d ask the same. Thought you had a night off.”

“So did I,” she muttered.

“What happened?”

“We were in the restaurant when one of those helmeted insurgents came in and held everyone at gunpoint. I didn’t—I didn’t even think. I just came after him, thinking I could apprehend him somehow, and he threw a grenade and…it all just happened so quickly.”

She was afraid to look up at him, to see his judgment and disappointment at her failure to act accordingly yet again. But when she did gather her wits, his patient expression was only waiting for her to continue, understanding and accepting as he always was with her.

“My…friend there – he’s injured. Some glass from the explosion got him when we were trying to escape.” She swallowed, her breath thickening. “Were there any more—”

“No,” he said. “You were the only two.”

She nodded, although she didn’t exactly know at what. It didn’t do any good to fall apart here, she reminded herself. Squaring her shoulders, she returned to Hiro.

“Thought you forgot about me for a second,” the other man mumbled, half-conscious when she knelt down next to him.

“Never,” she smiled. “This is my…colleague, Kougami Shinya. He’ll help us get you out of here.”

“Is he going to carry me? And here I thought I could keep pretending to look cool in front of you.”

Half-lucid, he’d still find a way to flirt.

“Trust me,” she teased. “You’ll be charming enough to me if you don’t bleed to death.”

“I’ll try not to disappoint. Wouldn’t want our next date to be at my funeral. How awkward would that be?”

“If you’d even want a second date with me after this.”

“Why wouldn’t I? I’m already planning on having it in my house. No way I’m going out for awhile after this.”

Her lips curled into a smile despite the situation. In her peripheral, she saw Kougami shift next to her. He had remained quiet throughout their exchange, although she could see something hardening at the edge of his mouth.

“You don’t mind carrying him, right?” she asked, worried if that bothered him.

“Of course not,” he half-smiled, but his eyes had taken that unreadable shadow again. She’d pieced out and categorized his looks before, a consequence at having worked closely with him for this long. But try as she might there were still some expressions that continued to elude her with their meaning. He gave her one of those strange looks now before his features eased into business again.

Hiro, on his part, tried with as much dignity as a bleeding man was allowed, to look like none of this bothered him. Akane went in front of them as their defense, Kougami’s Dominator a steady weight in her hands.

But there was no need in the end. The trek back for help had been uneventful. Akane didn’t bother to suppress her relief as she rounded the final corner and recognized the paddy wagon and the flashing blues and reds of the medic truck next to it. If Masaoka looked surprised at Kougami’s return with Akane and an injured stranger in tow, he made no indication of it.

“Busy night, missy?” he only said in greeting as he took Hiro from Kougami’s arms.

“You know it.”

She hoped her smile looked genuine enough.

Hiro was barely conscious when they laid him to be treated, his fingers twitching a little when Akane touched his hand. He would survive but not unscathed. She bit her lip and willed the heaviness from her shoulders to settle elsewhere. From behind, Kougami and Masaoka’s voices drifted towards her in mid-conversation.

“I’ll tell Nobuchika you went ahead of us. Let me take care of things here,” the older man said gruffly. “No point in a full-blown chase if there’s no chance of us apprehending them tonight.”

“I know,” Kougami’s low voice agreed even if it did sound disgruntled.

“Take her back with you. Poor girl needs a break.”

Masaoka's departing steps faded. She looked at Hiro and tried not to shiver at the incoming chill of the wind. As if prompted, she turned around.

Kougami was leaning against the door of the wagon as if he had been waiting for her this entire time. He was staring, trying to search something on her face that she didn’t attempt to mask with a weary smile. She supposed she should have been accustomed by now to the way he made her feel like such an open book but she still had to squash the instinct to avert her eyes. They held for a second longer before he seemed to settle to a conclusion.

He moved towards her and Akane couldn’t help a flinch when he shrugged out of his jacket and draped it around her. The edge of the collar tickled her nose and she blinked up at him.

His voice was quiet.

“I’ll drive if that’s alright with you.”

 

 

 

 

 

The sights of the city traveled in a rush of silent noise and confused lights as the car sped by. There would be news reports about this to be sure but for whose benefit? She looked at each of those specks of light and wondered at their distance. _How could they not see their city falling apart when it’s happening right in front of them?_ she wondered.

Hiro’s pale face appeared in her mind and she closed her eyes. She didn’t mean to drag him into her world. Despite what he said, she knew she would never see him again if she could help it.

“So where did that stiletto come from?”

Kougami's voice brought her back and her eyes opened. The lights were still whizzing past, and in her peripheral, she caught his brief glance.

“Why do you ask?”

“A blade isn’t exactly something I’d pegged you to have lying around your house.”

Her mouth twitched. “Kagari. He insisted I take one just in case Hiro ended up being a ‘creep’. Keeps them hidden in his dorm along with a hoard of 'decorative' butterfly knives under his bed.”

“Well. That doesn’t surprise me,” he snorted before adding with a mutter, “That kid’ll get himself killed one day.”

“Let’s not cross our fingers.”

Akane smiled but sobered as silence settled on them again. She kept her sight to the window, not registering the road he took back to headquarters. Her thoughts were in such a jumble that it took a minute for her to realize that they'd passed by the MWPSB building. Her eyes flickered to him in a silent question.

“Mind if we take a detour?”

She frowned but didn’t object. Before she could even guess from the roads on where he was taking them, he had already slowed to a stop, cutting the engine as they settled by the entrance of a familiar building. The neon sign winked on and off in greeting when Akane opened the car door.

She watched him.

"Stay here," he paused before adding dryly, "You do trust me, don't you?"

"Of course." The answer was quick, almost offended. She didn't miss the slight quirk of his mouth at that.

Akane dropped on the curb, too tired at this point to care about her damned dress and waited. In the distance, she heard the flow of traffic ebbing and intermittent. If she craned her neck to the right, she could see a bit of the skyline, almost adrift like a lost island floating in the pitch black of the night. She'd rarely stayed out this late and it never occurred to her how alive and lonely the city felt when it was left alone.

As if struck by lightning, a feeling of dread pitched itself in her gut. Akane felt a terrible recognition of her solitude in that moment and wished that Kougami had not disappeared inside. It was only five minutes that passed before he came out, a white paper bag in his hand, but it felt like an eternity. She felt foolish in her relief.

“It’s not five-star restaurant quality, but I know you didn’t finish your dinner,” he said, curious at whatever expression was on her face now.

"You didn't have to," she said, voice more reluctant than her hands, which were already pilfering for the burger in the bag he handed her. She didn't miss the quirk of his mouth at that either. He followed her down to the curb, let one leg curl under him and the other stretch into the street. They sat in silence, and Akane welcomed it all too well, her mouth already too busy to make conversation. It didn't take long for her to finish, energy and hunger making her more efficient than usual.

Now with her attention free, Akane couldn't help but stare at the empty white wrapper on her lap, the same sensation of heaviness and defeat crawling around her shoulders again. The adrenaline of the night was leaving her fast, seeping out and sucking her hollow. Her throat tightened and she turned away from him so he wouldn't see.

It was futile. She knew he was waiting for her to speak. He'd been waiting for this conversation before he'd brought her here. Even longer before this night.

Still her voice felt unwelcome in the cold, quiet air.

"Yuki and I had a bet, you know," she began, the name feeling like a jagged edge ripping each syllable out of her. "On who would get married first. The ultimate happy ending and all that. We were just silly girls when we made it. But looking back at it now, I've realized that even then, I was betting on her."

He considered this for a while, motionless as the wind whipped through the street. She'd never been more grateful for his jacket.

Kougami didn't even react from the bite of the cold. "Did you have such little trust in yourself to win?"

"More like too little trust in my luck," she smiled at that, even if it was a little sad. "And too much trust in her. I feel like even when she's no longer here, the world still thinks she's in the game. Or maybe, that's just my wishful thinking."

"I think you give the world a little too much credit."

"Even so, I think it wanted her to win. _I_ wanted her to win. I still do. So I felt guilty when I was with Hiro tonight. How stupid is that?"

"You wishing happiness for yourself? Hardly."

"But am I allowed that? With who I am?"

"And who are you? Undeserving? Is that what you're trying to imply?"

"You saw what happened tonight." _What happened with her_ , she didn't say.

"If you're implying that any of that was your fault, I'd be half-tempted to accuse you of narcissism."

She blinked, the unexpectedness of his answer cracking her mouth into a smile. "Excuse me?"

He affected nonchalance as he arched an eyebrow. "I'm sorry to say but the world unfortunately does not have enough virtue to revolve around you. As I said, you're giving the world too much credit."

She laughed, more genuine than anything she was giving out these days as the noise started unspooling the weight in her chest. His mouth softened at the sound, his tone following suit.

"The world's not going to end if you take one night out, Tsunemori."

He reached out to her slowly as he brushed a crumb from her collar. She followed the movement more intently than she intended, her mouth opening to return a joke before she spied the stain on his knuckles.

"Are you bleeding?"

Without a thought, she took his hand and flipped it to its back. She felt him stiffen at the unfamiliar contact but that only made her tighten it even more. There was a clean slice at the center starting from the heel of his palm and wrapping to the other side of his middle knuckle.

It was fresh if the angry color of the stains were anything to come by.

"Where did you get this?"

He shrugged, even if his reluctance was betrayed by the fact that he needed more prying to confess. "Kagari's decorative knives ended up being sharper than I thought."

She thought back to their confrontation earlier and cringed at the realization that she'd nicked him in the process.

"I'm sorry," she said. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It's just a cut. You have more on your plate right now than to worry about me."

Of course. She closed her eyes almost in amused wonder. He was always thinking of her wasn't he?

So she couldn't really fault herself for doing what she did next. The motion was so automatic and ingrained to her by instinct it didn't require thought. And to his credit, he remained still when she brought his fist ever so gently to her forehead.

A benediction. A prayer.

“I don't tell you enough but...thank you for this, Kougami-san,” she said, a hint of helpless laughter in her breath. "For everything. I honestly don't know what I'd be doing right now if it wasn’t for you."

She opened her eyes to look up at him, his fist still caught in her small fingers. Something dormant, like a flick of a match, starting from her pulse to their joined hands cracked open the silence and the air woke up in the space between them. She'd never felt more grateful and more criminal.

Because while the look he gave her then in that moment wasn't new, the accompanying feeling that thrummed under her skin was a revelation. She'd categorized his expressions before, committed them to memory, knowing that his face didn't change much to reflect the reality of what he felt.

She knew the first, which she called _Challenging_ , the look he would give whenever he tested and pushed the boundaries of her knowledge. The second was _Patience_ , which he would take whenever he explained to her a concept or a book she'd never heard of. The third was _Amusement_ , either from her attempts to push his buttons or her silly jokes to rile laughter from him.

The fourth, however, did not have a name because she couldn't give it one.

It was the look he gave when she asked to hear how his day went. When she would bring him a cup of coffee during a long night of a trying case. Or when she confessed insecurities she'd never tell anyone else in the deceitful safety of such a time at night.

Or like right now when she was tethering her to him with a mere touch of her fingers.

Her hands never looked stronger wrapped around his.

So she wondered at her hitching pulse when he unwrapped his fist and curled his long fingers through the gaps between hers. There was no doubt he could be dangerous but not once had she ever felt even remotely unsafe being alone with him.

But this was different.

This silence was nothing short of hazardous. So was the look he was directing at her. And the rough calluses of his index finger at her knuckle weren’t helping. If she wasn't thinking, she could say something reckless.

Do something dangerous.

 _Careful, Akane_ , she told herself.

As if remembering where they were, and who they were, she released his hand. But the air and her pulse refused to realign themselves to the normal orbit of the world.

If anything, the space between them felt even fuller.

"Thank you. Again," she coughed, awkward and already retreating. Her eyes were carefully set on anywhere but him.

"It's a bit late," she announced when the silence continued to drag. "Should we head back?"

She didn't give him a chance to reply when she stood and brushed the dirt from the frills of her dress. She was about to just move away herself when he finally spoke.

"I don't take chances, Akane." His voice was soft, slow, setting a small thrill in her spine at the sound of her name. "But if it matters at all, if it in any way brings you comfort -- I'd bet on you."

That stopped her short and unwittingly, she turned around to face him.

The look had not left him. Of course it didn't. If anything it seemed more sure on him, something that seemed to settle in his features almost permanently as he regarded her.

"Really?" she said, unsure if she could trust her voice.

"Out of everyone," he affirmed.

 _Oh_ , she whispered in her head as his gaze caught her again. _Oh_.

It was so easy to let everything else fade -- the city, the turmoil, the titles -- and pretend then that they were just two ordinary people with extraordinary desires. Perhaps that was why his look was so dangerous. It made impossibility seem within reach.

Because even with odds such as hers, what else could she do but believe in him and his impossibilities in that short, impossible second?

  



End file.
